Villhauer's Farm Blessings: Guard Your Heart

Since February is American Heart Month, and with Valentines day next week, and my heart still heavy from last week, and Daniel headed back to Afghanistan at this very moment, I picked this Blog title.

Heart disease remains the leading cause of death in the United States, so taking care of our hearts through healthy living is very important. Reflecting on my winter eating and exercise habits, I have gained new resolve to start exercising more and eating better.

More important than our physically healthy heart is our spiritual heart, which must be protected. It says in Proverbs 4:23 to "Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it." Philippians 4:6+7 also tells us to "Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petitions, with thanksgiving, make your request known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. "

I slept better last Friday night, although the strong wind woke me a couple of times. It had rained and drizzled though out the night and kept it up all of Saturday. It was a "ducky" kind of day. Even though the high was only 40 degrees and the winds up to 18 mph the ducks were enjoying the rain and mud puddles.

The cows were staying dry in the corn crib. I hated having the horses out in the mud, but they didn't seem to mind too much, better than being confined, alone, in a stall all day.

Mid morning I dropped Joe off at the airport. He was headed to Florida for a week of sunshine and golfing. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12 Joe really needed the break from the farm and I was so glad for him to have a chance to completely relax. For me, it was a good day to stay in, lay low, and get school work done. I did the usual weekend chores... laundry, cat's pan, scoop up the dog poop in the yard, fill bird feeders, and pick up sticks. Needing to get away from my desk, I ventured out a few times, walked around in the drizzle and gave out some flakes of hay to the livestock.

Joe had given me Valentine flowers early to cheer me up and I added some decorations and candy to them and the candles on our table. I like Elf's idea of Christmas cheer through out the year... except changing the theme as appropriate. "Every day is a terrible day for a miserable person, but a cheerful heart has a continual feast." Proverbs 15:15

I finished all my school work (except some grading) by 6pm. Then went out to the barn to brush horses for an hour. Back inside I folded laundry, fixed dinner and sat down to watch TV. Except I couldn't figure out how to work the dumb thing. I wasted an hour trying to get it to work, even AIMing with Britney and talking to Courtney on the phone. I am a pathetic case.

Waking up early Sunday morning, not only did I have several regrets about the whole ordeal with Norman, but I was also dealing with issues of anger. I wished we had given him a tetanus shot even though that is not the usual practice of any of the cattle people around here that we have talked with. I wished we had left Norman at the U of I several more days, where he was in better hands. But we were trying to save money. And I wished we would have euthanized Norman Wed. morning instead of spending an extra $230 in an effort to save him.... because it just prolonged his suffering. I was angry that the U of I had not communicated with us adequately about feeding. I did more reading on feeding and how a change in diet must be handled very carefully. Norman may have had early acidosis even with what the vet clinic was feeding him (because he really needed more roughage). As I read about acute acidosis, (which I believe is what Norman suffered from at the end) it is
usually fatal, but if they survive they

have rumen and liver damage and lameness issues. So I was mad that we still tried to save Norman. I guess the vet saw how upset I was and was just trying to help, but he should have advised us right then to put Norman down. I am thinking this anger is all part of the grieving process. Also shifting the blame from me to the vets makes it hurt less.

I realize the outcome of our lives is not determined by what happens to us, but by how we respond to what happens to us. So, I have tried to gain from this experience, put it behind me and keep my heart guarded. "Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity." Proverbs 14:29

I snapped this series of pictures, watching the sun come up over the horizon, along with my equine friends, as they headed out to pasture.

I went to early Church, then school to xerox etc. (probably for an hour), did some grading back here, worked with the horses, cleaned stalls and took care of other Sunday chores.

Weather permitting, I have been tying the horses to the trailer to brush them. Here is Amiga and Roni. I rotate Zorro in and out of the mix also. It is good for each of them to stand quietly and patiently together. I have discovered the lone horse in the pasture has gotten agitated, wanting to join the group.

Dan got home from Val's just as the Super Bowl was starting and we packed up and headed to Courtney and Mike's. We had appetizers while watching the game. It seemed like the young adults spent more time on their electronic devices than watching, but it was relaxing and entertaining to sit with them. I was falling asleep by the end of third quarter and headed home.

Monday's fog was present through mid-day. It had been so dense it was condensing on the branches as hoarfrost and even ice. When it got too heavy and the wind picked up, it then started falling onto the ground and deck like hail.

     I picked Daniel up on the way home from school Tuesday. He helped with a few of the heavier tasks during chores. My wrist has been getting stronger, although I still can't pick hooves. But I have been brushing all three horses almost daily and with Joe gone, I am back to the job of cleaning stalls. I still do not have full flexibility and control of my wrist, but hope to regain it. I'll be holding the pitch fork of manure and suddenly my wrist just gives out on me and the fork turns over and dumps the load. But I find I can do more and more, so it is still improving. I am going to gradually start building back up my riding muscles (legs esp.) and work into it slowly with my wrist.

     The beef pot roast I cooked in the crock pot (thanks to Sir Loin, and in memory of Norman) did not taste near as good as I had anticipated. Either it was the type of beer I had used this time or the thought of Norman that exacerbated the disagreeable flavor. The bigger disappointment was I had wanted Dan's last home cooked dinner to be enjoyable.

Wednesday morning it was nice to roll out of bed knowing I didn't have to go into school. But I did not like the thought of Dan leaving for Afghanistan.

"Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hail....
Whose broad stripes and bright stars ....were so gallantly streaming."

I took Dan to the airport mid morning. The security officer I asked to take this picture did not focus it very well... but oh well.

     After hugging Dan goodbye, I headed over to Marj's to hang out. It is so nice to have friends to lighten the load of our heavy hearts. We talked over tea and then I watched her, Matt and Richard working with the horses.

     We need to guard our hearts against worrying because it eats up a lot of energy and causes much anxiety. "Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me." John 14:1

     I went to school early Thursday to set up a lab and see how things went according to my sub's note. And then I stayed late today to take the lab back down. By the time I get home,

change clothes, eat a late lunch, unwind and check e-mails, it is nearly 3:00. And if I haven't been overcome by the need for a nap, I feel too tired and unmotivated to go out, clean stalls and work with the horses. I know the more I do, the more energy I will have, and the more I can do. It's just getting started... and it is also difficult to leave the warm house and venture out into the cold and wind.

Thursday I worked Roni in the round pen for a bit. I free lunged him to get him to start building back up his muscles. He was very responsive but not over reactive. He didn't want to stay in a canter, but if I drove him a little bit he would. I didn't push him too hard because he is out of shape like I am. But I felt like we were picking it up about where we left off last fall. Next step is to see what he does with the bit and cues during ground work.

I drove home today with my wipers removing a wet beady snow that was coming down and starting to accumulate. I went ahead and worked with Roni again after cleaning stalls. Amiga and Zorro were happy to stand by and watch while munching on hay.

Roni did a nice job again. In this video he is not responding quite as well, because my one hand and eye are preoccupied with the camera,
which was a little confusing for him.

I didn't work Roni very long because the weather made it a little less enjoyable. He got a nice brushing and an early dinner because it was predicted to get windier and colder and I wanted to be done with chores.
The barn cats were smart to be

settling in for the night, each in their own box.

The chickens were not quite so bright. I could not get them to leave the barn to go back to the coop. I herded two different groups over and ended up carrying 4 hens. And I had to chase 3 out from under the horse trailer. They may not be very clever, but I love them.

Some days I ask myself, "What was I thinking doing this farm thing?" Life was so much easier and carefree living in town. There were not near the struggles. But there also wasn't the learning, adventure, work, accomplishments and fun I am now experiencing. In today's "An Extra Flake" by Maureen Gallatin, she tells of the tragic death of Roxy, Stacy Westfall's bareback and bridleless mount. And the message “Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.” is a good one to embrace. I am reminded to take a few moments to thank God for the people and animals in my life today. Watch Stacy's special ride.