Out of Kilter

     I have been out of kilter all week starting with the disruption of sleep Friday night because of Joe's late night poker party.  I have also been on an emotional roller coaster, as I celebrate the good in my life and weep over the bad.
     I like this work of art- "Slightly Out of Kilter", by Christine Annas.

     I woke up Saturday morning short on sleep and a bit grumpy.  I worked very hard on school work all morning.  After lunch, I went up to take a nap. 
I was abruptly interrupted by Joe
hollerin' for me, wondering where I was at.  I got up feeling really off kilter, but managed to putter around outside helping Joe for a little bit. Another trunk from and for Dan was delivered by the mail man.  I was wondering where he was going to sleep when he gets home because this is what his bed looked like.  I was thinking maybe Britney's guest room.

     Late in the afternoon I loaded Roni and headed off to Moraine View to ride with Lisa and her boys.  Shortly after heading out, Lisa checked saddles.

     It was a perfect day for a ride.  The wind had died down, the sun was shinning, and it was in the mid 60's.

    
     We stayed in the meadows much of the time because some of the trails were kind of muddy.  Roni did not tail gate Mark as much, and walked calmly most of the time.  We all enjoyed ourselves.  The Wigging's had to head back to camp after an hour, so I turned Roni and kept him going on around another section of fields next to the woods.  He did well on his own.

     Once back to the campground and un-tacked, I let Roni snack on the good green stuff.












     I loaded Roni, who always walks right into the trailer without a fuss. And we hit the road for home.

    
 
  
     Once home I cleaned the inside of the trailer with soap and water because Roni had peed in it, and there was still cow manure left from Sir Loin and Norman.

     Joe added a row of boards to the fence around our birch tree in the paddock, and replaced two broken boards.  Now the horses and cows can't stick their heads between the boards and break them.  I helped Joe move the electro-braid fence out of the paddock and into the side pasture for some additional grazing.  Now we will have to keep the 3 horses and 2 cows together in the paddock some of the time.





     Joe was up and headed to work at 4:30 Sunday, so I got up to get some school work done.  I headed to Church at 7:30 to work in the nursery.  After second service, I spent over an hour at school xeroxing papers for next week.  Will this be my last weekend to go into work?  Probably not... but at least there aren't too many weekends left. 
    
     I was debating going for a ride, but it was very windy and rather cold.  I sat on the couch grading papers and was soon lying there taking a nap.  Joe ended up working all day, so I did all the chores for a change.  I could not get the horses to come into the barn at 9 pm.  They and the cows were racing around the paddock like maniacs.  Zorro finally came up to me and I haltered and walked him into the barn.  It was another ten minutes before I could get Roni.  The way he and Amiga were racing around... I would have no idea that she was lame.  I really think she and Zorro are much better.  

     Monday I was awaken by Joe getting home at 3:30 am.  That was a 23 hour day for him, which is just CRAZY!  I tossed and turned, trying to get back to sleep and finally got up at 4:30.  I was scrambling to get more grading done and then I got a phone call from Marj, with horrible news.  Her husband Richard had fallen from the hayloft yesterday, and landed on his head.  He had to have surgery to remove part of his skull and the bruised brain tissue.  Suddenly my little worries seemed so petty, and life was askew.  I prayed and cried several times throughout the day.  It is impossible to make sense of such a tragic event and difficult to know what to do.  For anyone interested in supporting Richard and Marj, and the rest of the family, there is a CaringBridge site you may visit.
    
     I was on an emotional roller coaster all day.  I was so sad about Richard, but also got news that Dan had been released and was able to come home. It didn't help that I was sleep deprived.  I had to buy feed at Farm and Fleet and food at Wal-Mart, so hit both stores on the way home from school.   I also wanted to get a little something for Dan and Marj.  Jumping for joy at our son's return and falling to my knees in prayer for Richard... I fumbled through the isles trying to figure out what to get each.  I also wanted to buy something to fix for a home coming dinner for Dan and to provide a meal for the Gilmore's.  Being such a rotten cook, I struck out on this task as well.  The grading did not go well once home.  Joe left to get Dan and I went to
                                                     Growth Group.  On the way home
I dropped in to visit Marj.  It was good to hug her and talk with her. It was almost 10 pm by the time I got home.   I tried again to work on grading.  The conversation with Marj was on my mind as was the excitement of Dan coming home.  "Don't let the devil steal away your peace. Give thanks to God in all occasions."


     Dan's Unit at an Award's Ceremony at Bagram Airfield in Afghanistan.

      Joe and Dan arrived a little after 11 pm.  More of his stuff was hauled into the house and deposited on the dinning room floor.  Dan was in bed very quickly, and Joe and I were soon to follow.  I peeked in on Dan and he was already asleep with the lights on and the cat by his side.

     Tuesday I discovered that it is such a small world.  One of my students mentioned that his uncle just got home from Afghanistan when I was telling the class about Dan's arrival home.  Come to find out, my student's uncle is Dan's platoon sergeant.  How cool is that? 

     The day was warmer, but overcast.  I was late getting to school and had several little issues that did not help my malfunctioning self. The e-mail on my work lap top was out of whack last week, with some virus or something.  So the IT person came and re-imaged it.  Getting it back Monday, it was missing programs and desk top icons.  I got it to where it would be usable until school is out.  And then Tuesday morning the same virus problem arose.  So... I decided to just retire the lap top early.  I'll get by without it... only 17 days of school left as of now.

     I should have gone for a ride since
it was so nice out, but I really had way too much school work to attend to.  My home lap top would not let me enter grades onto the Skyward Grade book.  Having this on the fritz really put me in a funk.  I went out to catch up on chores, filling feed bins, dumping and filling water containers, filling the bird feeder and bird bath, etc. 

     The broody hen finally gave up on the nest in the barn and has joined the flock.  She seems much happier running around with them... catching bugs and eating grubs.  Dan went for a jog and has then been busy unpacking many of his boxes and crates, sorting and organizing everything.  Here is his welcome Home Warrior Flag we are proudly displaying.
 









   
     Dan also has several metals and got this memento flag honoring his military service.  I put it under the Holiday tree I decorated for "Welcome Home Dan" and Memorial Day.

      

     Joe and I both got some gifts from Dan.  This one he bought at the market in Afghanistan.  It is all out of one piece of wood, and is really cool looking.  We enjoyed a nice dinner and talked about Dan's future plans that I was thrilled he was thinking about.

      Some e-mail communications with Marj brought reassurance as well as empathy.  This whole ordeal with Richard is going to be a long up-hill road. Once again, the school work was moving along at a snail's pace.

     They have been busy over at Becks.  Much of the planting is done.

     Wednesday morning our home internet was out.  I figured Dan must have done something to it the night before.  It put me out of sync not to be able to touch base with the world beyond our farm.  I went to school early so I could read and answer e-mails.

     Mid afternoon, Joe, Dan and I went to Marj and Richards to help with cleaning stalls.  Courtney joined us there shortly after.  Natalie and Ryan had already started, so we dove right in, dividing up the work.  It did not take long at all.  We enjoyed watching the 17 horses come in off the pastures for their evening feed and stall rest.

      Once home, Joe grilled chicken while I cooked the rice and green beans and we four enjoyed a good meal together.  I had plenty of chores here to attend to, so again did not get enough grading done.  I realize, I grade too much.  Oh well, a little too late to change now. :-)

     Dan continues to settle in here on the farm.  He has been sleeping in Britney's room, watching a movie each night, using his projector and the wall as a screen. 

     He is a strange and silly young man.  The soldiers of the 236th enjoyed this handy technology that Dan occasionally set up and shared while at Bagram.


      I met Courtney at Gilmore's at 6 am Thursday.  We fed all of the horses and then turned them out to their specified pasture.  Such a peaceful start to the day watching them trot off to eat.  I had to hit the post office in Downs on the way to school, to return an incorrect delivery and then scramble on grading a few more papers.

     Our horses get a little time on this grass each day when I get home from school.





     I went to a late afternoon appointment about retirement, only coming away with one important piece of information.  It was for those thinking about retiring using the district incentive... which did not apply to me.  I did get two assignments graded.  Nothing like being a captive audience to allow me to focus on grading.

     I was very glad to see this week come to an end.  It has been a very disjointed week.  I am getting used to having Daniel back in the house although I have caught myself going to the bathroom without shutting the door, or dressing up in my bedroom with that door wide open.  There seems to be a lot more dishes in the sink and extra distractions from grading.  I am not complaining... just readjusting.  Richard shows little improvement and is still in a coma.  So that too has me concerned, upset, worried, and out of kilter.  I keep turning to God in prayer.
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Ready To Burst

     Spring has busted out all over, and with the cloud bursts and rain this week, things are really green and growing.  I myself, am also ready to burst.  So many things welling up inside... emotions, blessings, and life changes have filled me to the brink of explosion.  I am bursting with pride, joy, excitement and anticipation.

     Saturday was a day the ducks loved but the horses and cows were not so thrilled with. It was a perfect day (rainy + gloomy) to sit here and get a bunch of school work done.  I worked the majority of the day making major changes to old lesson plans, two power points and several work sheets.  I needed to condense and simplify old stuff and create new. 

     Whenever I faltered or got tired, I told myself "this is the last time ever for this drudgery."  The anticipation kept me plugging away at it.  I also took little breaks to check on the barn yard, get the mail, eat and make tea. 

     I was so engrossed at times that I actually left nine eggs steaming for over an hour.  I thought I had the timer set for 20 minutes.  When I herd what sounded like a mouse trap going off, I got up to see what Abbey was up to.  And then I smelled the burning eggs, as another one burst open.  oops.

     The rain washed the dust from the horses coat's.  You can even see Zorro's dappling here.  As for the barn cats, like me, they decided to stay in for the day.

     I finished a rough draft of my plans for the remainder of the year and got the next two weeks well written.  This was my last big push of writing plans and getting them posted on my web-site.  I still have to write tests, quizzes, and an exam ... but then I will be done!!!! ...except for grading it all.  That will keep me busy up to the very end... May 23rd.  Like the Cheshire Cat, I am grinning ear to ear, somewhat mischievously. 

     The sun peeked out in the late afternoon so I took Kaysha for a nice long walk.  Joe was in St. Louis at a poker tournament, so I decided to try camping in the barn.  I set up a lawn chair, pad and sleeping bag as Brother made himself right at home.  I even made a "bed" for Kaysha. 

     I woke at the usual 5 am time Sunday morning and glanced over at Roni as Brother re-positioned himself when I moved my legs.  It had been a nice night in the barn.  I only woke a few times, once when a storm blew over making Kaysha nervous.  I heard Amiga and or Zorro playing with the rock in their food dishes several times.  I also watched and listen to Roni sleep, lying on his side in a relaxed manner, with head and legs stretched out on the wood shavings. 

     After letting the horses out with the cows on the back pasture, I came in for my tea and cookies.  Sitting on the front porch grading papers, I watched the clouds blow across the sky, concealing the sunrise that I knew was occurring because it was getting light out.  Several of the next pictures are from my Saturday evening walk.

     I went in to school but didn't make it to Church due to timing.  I couldn't remember when the third service started, and ended up running out of time, so opted not to show up late. 
The alfalfa is ready to be cut already.


     It was a surprisingly warm day, considering how strong the wind was.  But I just didn't feel like getting battered by it, so stayed inside.  It also looked like rain, off and on, all afternoon. 

     I had plenty to keep me busy with e-mail, Facebook, journaling, reading my Bible, school work and laundry.  Courtney and Mike dropped in with friends, Corey and Clay.  I visited with them some and helped Courtney with the horses.  She and Mike helped me by picking hooves.

     Joe got home around dinner time and we set to repairing the trumpet vine trellis that had blown over.  We also took a short walk together and caught up on each others weekend.  I went back to grading and it wasn't long before I got too sleepy to continue, so went to bed early. 

     
      Monday morning, after a big storm over night, there was a stray cat in the barn.  Our two barn cats were sitting outside the barn and did not look happy.  As I entered, I scared it off and it scared me.  I put the horses out, knowing they would get muddy.  We got a total of two inches of rain over the weekend.

      I have been so anxious for Dan to get out of Afghanistan that I have jumped to conclusions about his travels home.  I read e-mails during breakfast. Dan's girl friend, Val, reported that Friday morning Dan told her "I'm all packed up, except my laptop and pillow... he he, don't gotta go for another six hours so I'm going to try to get as much rest as possible".
     This photo was posted on Facebook
Sunday. Then, Monday afternoon Dan posted this about the photo: "this is us staging our bags to load up on buses to go to the terminal in Afghanistan, not there right now but we are safe and sound on our multiday trip back to the states."  Then I also got e-mail news saying: "I'm safe, still in Asia but not in Afghanistan, should be in the states in 2 maybe 3 days at the latest, there's no net here, right now I'm using the Chaplin computer and we are only allowed 30 minutes at a time, been in line for a couple hours he he." 
Three soldiers serving in the British Army join forces in voice with US Soldiers. Singing 'Coming Home' the song dedicated to all service personnel who serve us all with pride around the world, I play this in thanks especially for Dan.  I am bursting with pride.

     I also got an e-mail from Britney reporting that her flight from Cuba to Miami was delayed, so she missed her flight to Guatemala.  She stayed with one of
the league ladies and flew home to Guatemala today.  To the right she is pictured with Rafael and Fernando, the bus driver and tour guide in Cuba.

     To the left is the group she went to Cuba with.  She said about 20 ladies adopted her as their Granddaughter while traveling with them.  She reported having an AWESOME TIME!

     I brought home a big pile of lab reports that need grading.  The wind was still very strong, so I was happy to stay inside.  I have gone to the front porch a lot lately, so the view of the outdoors nearly surrounds me.  These hours of grading will soon be a distant memory. I checked the horses twice after Growth Group because I was especially worried about Amiga.  She seemed to have a belly ache... too many greens I think.  I had upped their pasture time one hour yesterday.

     Tuesday before sunrise, there was a peace to the calm after the strong winds from the past 24 hours.  I had another meeting after school and then hustled to my riding lesson.  We

ended up trying a running martingale on Roni which really helped keep him from pulling on my arms constantly.  Marj is going to let me borrow it for awhile, so I will use it for the week and see how Roni is doing by next week.  

      Joe had jogged down the road and drove the trailer home so I could ride Roni home.  Roni was rushing at first, but slowed down after I did a few speed transitions and circles. It was so relaxing to not have him constantly pulling on my arms. 

     Early Wednesday morning I got news (from Facebook) that Dan's Unit had landed on US soil at about 1 am.
I believe this is their plane, with the
Indiana based soldiers waiting to greet them.  What a relief and so exciting to know he is home.  It was a great gift for Joe's 60th birthday.  Dan is now at Camp Atterbuy in Edinburgh, Indiana... getting processed to come home.  Their daily schedules are super packed from 0700-1800 Dan said. He expects to be released on the 23rd or 24th, but won't know for sure until the day before.

      I worked with and then rode Roni, even though it was quite windy.  I love how the Martingale helps to keep him from nosing out.  He was still getting revved up out at Becks but I had a fun ride, and did have him walk calmly and relaxed most the way home. 




     After a quick walk, I opted to skip school work and watched Survivor with Joe.





     I had a great (2 hour) ride on Roni Thursday after school.  After round pen foot work and transitions, We "hit the trail" going all around our pasture and property, then more of the same at Becks.  Next we went to Lisa's and chatted with her and her boys.  To go home, we crossed the tracks at Lisa's, went south to the interstate, and followed it east, past Becks to our neighbors.  I turned Roni back north, over the tracks and then west to get home. 
Other than him getting too reeved up while I tried to get him to gait along the open fields, he did fairly well.  Our east side neighbors did get their fields planted.  Once home I had to face the long tedious task of grading.  But it didn't last long.  The wind and exercise, followed by a hot shower and cup of tea... just made me so mellow, I couldn't stay awake.

     Up early Friday to continue where I left off on the grading, I still had to scramble to get it all done by my first class.  And, of course, I came home with a new pile of papers to tackle over the weekend.  Our resident squirrel keeping the maple seed picked out of our gutter guards.



     Joe was having his annual Birthday Party when I got home, playing poker with all his crazy friends.  I didn't hang around long, but loaded Roni and headed for Marj's.  

     Knowing the weather was going to be nasty, I had asked Marj if I could use her indoor arena.  It is wonderful to have a trainer and friend who is so willing to share.  It was so nice to be able to work with Roni, in out of the cold, wind and rain, for well over an hour.  I am filled with so many blessings, I could burst.