Saturday I had Joe do the early morning chores because I couldn't face going out to the barn. He reported that Norman was still hangin' on. The sun on the snow from Friday night made it look so pretty out. Because Norman hadn't gotten worse, I went out later to check on him. While massaging his jaw and neck, he kind of swallowed twice. I really wanted to do something for him, get water and more bloat medicine down him... something. I knew if trying to tube feed water, that the muscles to swallow may be affected, so chocking would be a concern. We couldn't even get his mouth open enough to put the tip of the bottle in, it was clenched so tight. I wished I knew what his chances were so Joe and I could decide what to do. I felt it was still worth trying, rather than euthanize to relieve his suffering. I kept hoping he would show improvement. If we put him down, then there was the question of what to do with the body. The rendering plant in Mason City, IL isn't open on weekends, and digging a hole was a whole other dilemma. It seemed like such a nightmare.
Well, we ended up having a different vet come look at Norman. (The one from Wednesday night was out of town) This vet said Norman was moving too well for him to be convinced it was tetanus, but that he was definitely stiff and his jaw wouldn't open. Dr. Nord was not sure what it was, but thought it could possibly be rabies. Anyway.... he jammed a big meat thermometer looking thing in Norman's gut and I thought holy cow... he just stabbed Norman with that thing. And then the methane gas came out like a pressure cooker for nearly five minutes. Look closely at the photos and you can see the gas asa white vapor / steam. The vet had me
I worked at my desk while Joe was gone, but really had troubles focusing. Joe got home mid afternoon. The good news was that they felt sure Norman didn't have rabies. But there was still some uncertainty as to what it was. Maybe the confusion occurred because we had caught tetanus early enough that it was not full blown and didn't show all the symptoms.
The U of I was going to do blood tests,
treat for tetanus and give it more time. Norman was to be given food and water through a tube down his throat, or if that didn't work, in his side. Time would tell... hopefully with a positive outcome, but it sounded like it would take a few weeks. It was just a relief to know Norman was not out in the barn suffering, and I didn't have to keep going out there to check on him, and possibly find him dead. 
Frankie above and Babe to the left hovered around the barn as if waiting for their pasture mate to come join them.I woke Sunday refreshed from a good night of sleep. With Norman in good hands I was not tormented about how he was doing. I didn't have to dread going out to the barn in the morning to see what I might find. He was out of my hands but not completely off my mind. I was still praying for him to fully recover.
Inside Abbey was enjoying sunbathing on the stairs.While outside, Missy was doing her job of guarding the barn form siege by varmints... oh, or maybe ducks.
I hit the school work hard before and after Church, then mid afternoon we went to Courtney's to visit and then the five of us headed to the movies. We enjoyed the modern day version of Sherlock Holmes. It was a bit far fetched but entertaining.
Right after school Monday we went to the U of I to pick up Norman. They did not do further blood tests (It was over our budget) so they had been treating Norman for tetanus. They were fairly sure that is what it was...and that we caught it early enough.
We were shown what and how to feed Norman and it looked very doable.
The tube had a cap with a little hole in it to relieve air pressure 24/7, so bloat would no longer be a problem. We take the cap off to feed. We had difficulties getting the cap to stay on. When Norman coughed it sent the cap flying sometimes. Norman also needed two different meds, twice a day, given as an injection. I was told how to do that but was not near as sure of myself with this procedure.
Holy cow was the 22ml of penicillin I gave intramuscularly before Bible study a disaster. At first I hit a blood vessel, then I think I wasn't deep enough because some med. came dribbling out onto his hair. And then there was a big bulge on his neck. We made a mess with the tube feeding after Bible study and are unclear exactly how much of the pelleted feed slurry to give. We did over two gallons, but his tummy didn't feel that full. The good news was he actually kind of relaxed his jaw a bit and kind of stuck his tongue out between his teeth trying to get water and then some hay. He was so much better than Saturday and the vet gave him a good prognosis. I just hoped I could do all this nursing care. He gets 5 more days of penicillin and 8 days of Acepromazine to relax his muscles. The tube feedings may be necessary for 3 to 4 weeks.
I feed Norman before my lunch as soon as I got home from school Tuesday. Joe had gone to Dr. Nord with some of our questions and bought a supply of needles and syringes. I then felt more confident with a better understanding of how to do the shots.
I also called and talked with the U of I vet. He said... just think IC (In cow) and you can't hardly go wrong. Ha ha ha. He also answered several of my questions on feeding Norm. This is what his rumenostomy looks like. I have to clean all around it after feeding and then apply Vaseline to protect his skin from stomach acid.
Brian came at chore time and gave the penicillin shot while I watched. My confidence was rising...I really felt like I could do a better job with the shots. Before we left the barn, Norman was actually trying to chew and drink. He couldn't really open his mouth very well, so drinking was not possible, but he would pull in a sting of hay with his tongue and chew on it. Holy cow was this progress!!!
Wednesday morning we had a turn for the worse. Norman was down and completely stiff with legs stretched out and every muscle tight. He was breathing rapidly and would not move when I tried to get him to. Holy cow, how could he go from such improvement to so bad just over night? I wondered if drug resistant bacteria had increased in numbers or if it was a late effect of the illness. We had Dr. Nord come out right away. He didn’t think the tetanus would take such a fast turn for the worse. First we treated for an allergic reaction to the meds… but he didn’t think it was likely because there were no hives etc. As we talked, it dawned on us it very likely could be the feed. What we had been giving was way too rich and big of a change for Norman's digestive tract. (It was so frustrating that we had been told the horse feed would be okay. It was to be temporary until we got what would be better.) Joe had shopped several places for goat pellet feed
and meal alfalfa but with no luck.
A sales clerk recommended and sold Joe a cow pellet feed that was even higher in protein than our horse feed. Little did we know. Any way, Dr. Nord was fairly sure Norman was having a reaction to Acute lactic acidosis (grain poisoning). We pumped out what we could of the contents of Norman’s stomach through his ruminostomy. Then we poured in a mixture of charcoal / bicarbonate and laxative to treat the acid pH, bacteria build up and flush it through his system quicker. Dr. Nord gave him a pain killer. And again we had to wait it out. I rushed off to school with Norm still down on his side and legs stiffly out stretched, breathing rapidly. As soon as I got home I checked on Norman. He was hyperventilating and appeared to have been all day. He was wet all over, I think from the humidity of his breathing. He was very hot to the touch and was trembling all over. It was horrible to see. We called the vet to come asap but he was in a meeting. Over an hour later he called Joe who checked on Norman. I couldn't even go out to look at him anymore. We needed the vet to come out right away to euthanize our poor cow (steer actually). By the time Dr. Nord arrived, Norman was gone. My heart was so heavy, I feel like we killed him... not intentional... but out of stupidity.
Joe and I went for a walk just before sun set. We were both kind of numb... sad and upset. I was emotionally and physically exhausted and went to bed before Dan arrived home with Val.
I had a sleepless night, tormented by Norman's death. I can't get over it or let it go. :-( Luckily my students were doing a Web Quest in the computer lab Thursday, which required very little effort or teaching by me.
In an attempt to get back to some normalcy, we spent some time with Dan and Val, and had fun giving her a tour of the farm.
The truck from the rendering plant had already taken Norman, so there was no visual reminder. But it was, and still is hard to get him out of my mind.
I had another night of tossing and turning. Sleep escaped me. I was still full of remorse. I was frustrated, angry, sad, and horrified that this had happened. I couldn't stop blaming myself. I keep praying for God to help me through this. A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired. Proverbs 17:22 This was the third day driving to school praying and crying. I have been consumed by guilt.
It was another beautiful day of sunshine, and better yet, a Friday afternoon. It was so nice to come home to smiling faces.
Dan and Val packed up and headed back to her house in Aurora a little later. I worked on this Blog, pet the horses and took the dog for a walk... all the while reflecting on the past week and Norman's death. I know cows are not holy. I do not worship them. But I believe Norman is now in a holy place. I envision him free of pain and suffering and eating to his heart's content in a large meadow with the sun
on his back. Norman is a holy cow. :-/
Hugs... Mary C
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