To Think, Or Not To Think

     Do you ever wonder what cows are thinking, or if they think while they lay chewing their cuds?  I do.  The rumen is the first stomach, responsible for the first stage of break down of food.  It holds up to 50 gallons of partially digested food. This is where cud (partially digested material that is burped up and chewed again) comes from.  Does the word ruminate (to chew over or think about) come from this process?  Stew has been eating enough alfalfa, that he joins Babe in ruminating... chewing...   and thinking?

     Joe and I have had several sleepless nights this week (especially last night) because we have not been able to turn off our thinking... Joe about work and I about what's not working.  Do we grind our teeth in our sleep as we ruminate?  How does a person stop ruminating, when our train of thought is moving at full speed and we are trying to get to sleep?  Meditation (thinking of not thinking) is a method used that I have not practiced.  I usually go to God in prayer... but need to remember to listen and not just talk.  I believe I lack the mental control required for meditation.  According to Wegner and Pennebaker, "Mental control occurs when people suppress a thought, concentrate on a sensation, inhibit an emotion, maintain a mood, stir up a desire, squelch a craving, or otherwise exert influence on their own mental states."  Often times I am a bit too spontaneous in words and actions and I do or say things I quickly regret.

     Edward Espe Brown has some interesting things to say in his article Thoughts On Thinking.  Here are some of his thoughts... somewhat disconnected because I didn't include his explanations or examples:  "Knowing what to do with your wandering thoughts is perhaps the greatest challenge for mediators.  You're not supposed to think in meditation, You're supposed to quiet your mind.  Thinking is pretty normal, don't you think?  The problem with thinking is not thinking per se, but thinking that is stuck.  When I say not to think, I mean that if you have a thought, think nothing of it."

     When we forget to do something, like turn off the water to the stock tank and it over flows, it isn't that we were not thinking... it's because we didn't think of it.  We have so many things on our mind, that thoughts get lost in there.  Or, when our mind "takes over our body", like a reflex action or when our horse spooks and jumps, it is for self preservation, because taking time to think could be costly.  The subconscious mind is a good thing... we shouldn't always think.   But we must also be careful not to let a knee jerk reaction cause us to speak or act without thinking.  When I do not know what to say, usually I really can't think of what to say... but sometimes, nothing I was thinking was worth saying.  My problem is that I usually blurt it out anyway.  At times we need to balance thought with silence.

     Then there is the other side of the scale, where we over-think things.  In the Clinic last week, Larry said that many of us were thinking too hard.  He said to picture doing the move correctly, which is the idea of this poster.  We also need to practice the different techniques in order to be able to perform them without thinking.  Then they will become natural, relaxed, and connected in a correct way... and our horse will be able to move in balance and with softness.  I am reading a book Carol lent me, That Winning Feeling!  "Program Your Mind for Peak Performance" by Jane Savoi.  It is about mental training and positive attitude while riding your horse.

     Okay, enough thoughts on thinking, I'll get on with the happenings around here.  I spent (wasted) most of Monday on the computer.  I finished my blog, e-mailed photos to different people who rode in the clinic, and played on Facebook.  I was definitely having technical difficulties with my camera, phone and computer... ugh, which prolonged the whole process.  Luke checked the alfalfa mid afternoon and I spoke with him about being sure it is good and dry before bailing.  Photo of barn swallow flying lessons above.

     I think little Stew is so cute.  He and Babe have become good friends.  After removing sticks and dog deposits from the yard Tuesday morning, I took the dog poo and scattered it along our South property edge near the tracks.  This helps deter the coyotes.  It simulates Kaysha marking her territory. Our electric fence also helps keep them out.  Almost each morning when I walk down Brian's road, I see fresh coyote dung.  The other day something caused me to stop and turn around, and there was a coyote, standing in the middle of the road, about 50 yards away, looking at Kaysha and I.  It dropped it's head and turned as it trotted off the road into the tall corn. 

     Amiga and Zorro are
two other good friends....
.... and partners in crime.




      Later in the morning, while I was out picking up trash along 150, cars were flying by.  And then I saw someone get pulled over by a police car at the edge of our property.  Suddenly, cars were no longer whizzing by.  What a great traffic calming device.  I also noticed that the litter bugs on 150 are all smokers, drinkers, or fast food junkies.

     Luke raked the hay before noon.  Joe had advertised our alfalfa for $5.00 a bale on Craig's List and started getting a ton of phone calls.  This, on top of all his State Farm work, was almost more than he could handle.  He was turning away customers left and right.  One fellow said we should be asking $7.00 a bale. There is a real need right now because of the drought.  Grazing fields, especially for cattle, are becoming baren.  Well, we ended up selling all 135 bales to a man from Downs for $5.50 a bale.  It came off the field and went right down the road to his horse farm.

      Wednesday morning after my walk and chores here, I went to Marj's to do chores.  It took almost three hours to clean all 17 horse stalls on my own.  Kristi came mid-morning and helped me with feeding and turnout.  I got home just in time for lunch and noon chores. Then it was off to my dreaded Farm + Fleet, Wal-Mart grocery trip.   I took this video of horses coming in for super, however, I can't get it to upload after at least 10 tries over the last 26 hours.  So... still working out this technicality.

      After dinner, and evening chores (including weeding the garden and watering) Joe and I started the long, three hour movie Avatar.

     Thursday I postponed my walk because it was sprinkling, which didn't last long.  But the walk ended up getting skipped all together.  I was on the road by 9:00 to take Roni to Moraine View for a nice long ride around Dawson Lake.  He did very well except for the trailering.  Loading has become a big struggle for some reason.  It had gotten quite hot by the time I got home at noon. 

      Above, Abbey knows how to beat the heat.  All afternoon I interspersed outside work with coming in for cold water and a short rest here at the computer to cool off.  I collected un-baled hay off the side pasture, weeded and watered, and moved crappy hay from the manure pile to the burn pile. (left photo) 

      The horses, who are now on a diet (less hay and pasture time) have been picking through the manure pile to get something to eat.  Joe had cleaned the chicken coop, calf pen and corn crib over the weekend and piled it all on the manure pile.  What was he thinking?   

     We decided it wasn't the best place for the dirty hay bedding, so Joe helped me move it.  I used the tractor to re-pile the stall waste and manure, and then started a new manure pile.  Of course the horses, ducks and chickens all took turns checking out the two piles.

     We had an all American supper of grilled barbeque chicken, fresh picked sweet corn (from the Farmers Market) and mac + cheese.  After counting and moving some bails of hay (for a buyer coming in the morning) we finished our movie.  I went out to close the chicken coop before bed and suddenly a sense of uselessness flooded over me.  Sometimes I feel getting this farm (especially the horses) and retiring early has been a bit extravagant.  The animals require a great deal of time, energy and financial support... but to what purpose?  I even felt guilty about
                                                                         the increase of bottled 
water I have been drinking, after seeing this flyer on Facebook.  "Disposable plastic water bottles add greatly to marine and terrestrial pollution and simply are a waste of resources".  So you all give this some thought please.
     I wondered "What is this world coming to?" and "What am I doing with the rest of my life?"  I definitely had a sense of restlessness that still washes over me.  Standing in the dark paddock, past my bed time, petting my horse friends, helped me regain some tranquility.  I needed to get some perspective on life.     

     I had a sleepless night, but still rolled out of bed at my usual 5:30am time on Friday morning.  My wrist was extra sore from yesterday's work and from holding fast to Roni in an effort to get him to step forward onto the trailer.  It was a cloudy morning with a cool breeze which was quite refreshing.  I walked with a faster pace and even jogged for a quarter mile.  My old heart, lungs and joints groaned, but complied.  I probably should start doing more of this, I thought. 

     Joe came home from work mid morning and we helped a hay customer get 50 bails of our questionable hay loaded.  We sold it for $2.00 a bail and feel he got a great deal.  He is feeding cattle.  Then Joe helped me get Roni loaded (which went easily) before he went back to work.

     I met Lisa at Moraine View and joined her and her two boys for a ride around the lake.  In this photo, you can see Lisa carrying a boom box.  I have seen it on the ground for several weeks now.  Lisa was taking it back to camp to throw away.  Getting Roni loaded to come home went like the old days of nice and easy, which boost my confidence in him and myself.

     After Stew's bottle and a late lunch, I was nodding off here while playing Words With Friends, so took a nap.  Dan called to say he and Valencia were headed here.  What a welcomed surprise... but I had to go into super cleaning mode for two hours.  They arrived at dusk but I wasn't able to stay up long to visit.


     Kaysha ready to go for a walk.  I tried jogging again during my morning walk Saturday, but couldn't increase distance.  In fact, it was shorter than the day before.  My legs, back, neck and shoulders felt so tired.  I jogged a second time during the walk, but not that far.  Once home, Joe went with me to Marj's to help clean stalls.  He had many of them done by the time I got the "boy's" in, fed everybody, and turned the mare group out.  I helped Joe finish and we were headed home in a little over an hours time.  He works much quicker and efficiently than I do.  (I like to think I do a better job.) :-)  When I work on something, I tend to over-think it.  Whereas Joe dives right in.  Too much thinking can prevent you from making mistakes... but, why think and waste time, just use the energy to do it and get it done.

     Joe and I worked on outside jobs once home, because it was going to get hot again so it was best to work in the morning.  After lunch we had some fun with target practice.  Dan wanted to show Valencia how to shot our 22.

     First some safety instructions ... how to hold and carry a gun.


      How to use the sight.  Valencia is left eye dominant, but right handed.









     Dan moved some old hay bails out back by the tracks and set up the target.


     Then he had to do some shooting to get the scope correctly adjusted.







     Some more instructions for Valencia on loading the gun, and use of the safety.




















Then target practice began.

















     Dan tried different stances,
while Valencia looked on.


     Joe came out to watch...





     and then tried his luck with the shotgun Ralph gave him.


     Valencia finally got a turn to take some shots at it and did quite well.



     I took Roni to Marj's , meeting Courtney who was working with Marco, a 5yr. old Paso Fino.  She had him brushed up all nice and pretty.

     We did ground work in the indoor arena, I with Roni and Courtney with Marco.  We practiced the techniques that had been shared in last weekend's clinic.  I rode Roni for about 20 min. but Courtney just stuck to ground work with Marco.




      Dan and Valencia came by so we could show her the wonderful facility and let her see all the pretty horses.

     Joe had grilled hamburgers and brats waiting when we got home.  Mike had also come out to join us.  Then we moved out into the barnyard to watch the movie "Kingdom".



     Joe was up Saturday night for work at 1am, I had to run to Marj's at 2am to turn off a hose to the water tank I completely forgot to turn off earlier, and Joe left for work at 3:30am.  So it was not a restful night.       


     I shortened my walk to just 1 mile Sunday morning.  I worked in the nursery and then went to Church.  Once home I took a much needed nap.  The outdoor heat, and fatigue from a restless night prevented me from having the energy to go out and work.  I did the bare minimum, consisting of the watering and feeding chores.

     Dan and Valencia power shopped for several hours in the afternoon, Joe worked all day, not getting home until 7pm, and I messed around on my computer and did some thinking. 

    
     Valencia fed Stew his evening bottle, getting him to follower her off the back pasture and into his pen.  Dan and I took some pictures.  I was unable to get this blog posted Monday ... it was not a great day for me.