Do Over

     How many times in life have we asked for a do over?  After a lousy T shot, a roll of the dice, a draw of the card, or when getting back a bad test at school.  How nice it would be if we could just hit the re-wind button on life... to go back and do over when we made a bad decision, or in haste had an accident, or said hurtful things.  But "Do Overs" are rarely possible...
                                    maybe if you have a non-competitive or a
compassionate opponent, but not in the real game of life.  So, we need to learn as we go, and not make the same mistakes twice.  If only we knew earlier what we know now...but we are all learning as we go... and life is never without trials, mistakes and even bad luck.

Awhhh....the apparent carefree life of a cat and dog.... but actually the dog is in the office during a storm because she gets so nervous she wants to be by people. 

     After taking Amiga and Zorro to the U of I vet. clinic in Champaign the night before,  Thursday morning was actually kind of nice. I got done with chores 30 min. quicker because I did not have to mess with horses.  We kept getting these little pop-up storms.  The wind really blows, rain beats against the windows but it is over in 5 to 10 minutes.  I have to run around and shut windows if they are open.  It looked like it could rain at any moment so I left windows shut.  And because I didn't have to worry about getting the horses back in from their grazing pens before a storm blew in, I sat here typing away.  Looking out at
the brown un-cut hay, up at the dark
sky, and I wondered if we would ever be able to get it harvested...would it be any good for cattle even, and would we be able to get a second cutting?  Just about then, our hay man Mark drove up the drive.  The lounging outfit I was in must have looked hilarious. I told him I was having a peaceful relaxing morning.  We talked and he had decided to come back and cut our hay in an hour.  Lounging time over....I had to get dressed, move the cowboys to the paddock, open all the gates and take down the grazing pens.  I also needed to get tack loaded to go to
                                                  Marj's to ride Roni in a lesson. 

     After we were finished in the indoor arena, I moved to the outdoor to continue working with Roni and practicing new techniques.  Today I discovered that I need to focus my energy more upward and less down on the horse.  I finally felt the gait we have been looking for.  Roni was very smooth, and actually much slower at the gait than I expected.  Once done (after 2 hours of riding) I also noticed that he had hardly worked up a sweet (which he usually does because of nerves).... well, it had only been 68 degrees and was very windy.
     I got home and saw that the hay had been cut.  I soon started pacing (not literally) but I couldn't relax or focus on any one thing because I was waiting to hear about our horses. I got an up-date on Zorro at 2:30....and it did not sound good at all.  They had to stop the nerve blocking on Amiga because she had started kicking out.  So they were just preparing to ultra sound her.  Well, at 7pm Courtney called with the news: They both have the same injury...front rt and back left suspensory ligaments...the same thing Zorro had last fall and was on stall rest for all winter.  His is worse than before.  Amiga's isn't quite as bad but there is still significant damage.  They will both be out of commission for several months.  Wahhh

     Friday mornings empty barn was depressing.  The break from chores the day before was nice, but this time, there was a big void.  No nickering, or crunching on hay... no radio softly playing, and no sweet smell of horses.  After getting rid of the big yellow intruder wild cat last week, our two barn cats had really relaxed again.  I hadn't realized how edgy they had been.  But now they seemed confused .... as if wondering where the horses were.  Or maybe they were wondering why I wasn't coming out to the barn 3 or 4 times a day.

     Courtney and I drove to Champaign to pick up and bring the horses home. This time Zorro loaded in 20 min. and Amiga in about 5.  What a relief...and thankfully the trip home was uneventful... except we were both, in our own way, processing the bad news.  Amiga and Zorro both have a long road to recovery ahead.  Several months of stall rest, routine diagnostic ultra sounds, and Zorro Shock Wave Therapy every other week for the the
                                                      next three months.  We will probably
not be able to ride either of them until next summer at the earliest.  Their injuries are expected to take a full year to completely heal.  And then the prognosis to return to athletic performance is poor.  At best, easy trail riding is all we can expect... but at this point, I would be so glad for that.
At least they can keep each other company while on stall rest.

     Once back with the horses, I test drove the new (actually older) car Joe is checking out and took it to Marj's to feed Bambi.  Then I had just enough time to get ready and go to the Relay For Life and do my 2 hours of walking.  Joe joined me for several laps.  I walked over 5 miles....and during that time had lots of opportunity to reflect on life.  I have been pretty selfish
in my desires for and with Amiga (and

Zorro). I just want a horse I can ride anywhere anytime....and a second whom I can invite a friend to join me on.  This is not God's plan for me right now apparently.  Sometimes I wish I had never bought Amiga. (I want a Do Over) But if I had it all to do over, I would probably still buy her. I have fallen in love with her.  The thought of selling her because she is unable to be ridden and her care too expensive is out of the question.  When I go out to the barn to see our horses, I realize how sweet but vulnerable they are.  Amiga has done nothing wrong and is worthy of the best I can give her (as is Zorro).  I am so lucky to even be able to have a horse....and should be happy with the pleasure I get from being with her while grooming and walking her.  It shouldn't be just about me and just about riding.  I am learning the hard way I guess. 










Walking each lap and looking at all the luminary bags with names of cancer victims and survivors, I also reflected on how precious life is, how much I miss family and friends who have died of cancer, and how blessed I am to have had them in my life and to still have those who have survived.  We did not stay for the Luminary Ceremony, but these photos are ones Scott Froelich took.  He made the bottom picture by piecing together several photos. A solemn, touching time as names are read and you can silently sit or walk and remember those who lost the fight or are still battling cancer.

"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again." (author unknown)  It was cloudy
                                                     all day so my mind also wandered

to our farm.  I was wondering how well the hay was drying...it had sprinkled a few times during the day.  And again I counted my blessings, to be able to have this beautiful 13 acre farm .... and learn and experience a little bit about farming. Once home (7:15) we feed the horses, gave their meds. and then hand grazed them to let them get out of their stalls for a bit. Exhaustion soon set in and it was early to bed for me. 

5:30 Saturday morning I was greeted at the barn by nickering, Zorros silly face as if asking "what took you so long" and Amiga's soft understanding and patient eyes.  The day held new promise.  The sun was partially breaking through the clouds, the hay just may be getting dry enough to bail, and the chickens, turkey and ducks were loving the wet dew laden grass.

     Mid morning Mark's helper came and raked the hay.  I was out planting flowers, checking on earlier transplants, picking up sticks, and spot weeding.  While getting some pictures of the raking process, I found a toad and pocketed it.

 

  











   A bit later I found a second toad,  and put it in my pocket with the first.   I released them up near the house where it would be safer for them.


     Mid afternoon I had put the horses back out in their grazing pens and 5 minutes later Mark arrived with the bailer.  Joe quickly brought the horses back into the barn, being careful to not let them do more than walk.












The round bailer is a slick piece of equipment that scoops up the hay and somehow rolls it into these big round bails.  The tank of liquid behind the tractor is a preservative that can be sprayed on slightly damp hay to prevent it from molding. 

 

Once the bail is "done" it gets wrapped in a plastic netting that will actually help wick water away from the hay and roll off the round bail during storage.

     It started to sprinkle after Mark finished the side pasture and was moving to the back pasture.  He only got 1 bail out back and had to quit because it was raining hard enough to make the hay too wet.











      After the little rain shower passed, we let the cow boys out into the back pasture.  And what did they do?   Go right over to the one and only round bail and try to taste some of it and rub/scratch on it.  Bad Cows.

      Mark did get about 3/4s of the hay bailed however....woot woot.

     I came in, read some of my book and took a nap.  Later we had grilled steak while sitting out by the fire pit, and gazing at the flames. 

     Saturday afternoon Marj had had Roni adjusted by a chiropractor (Andria).  She said he was really out...stiff in the neck (right worse than the left), tight in his Atlas and C1 and the 7th vertebra, and in his hips. She worked him over really well and he just stood there.  She said he is so sweet and that she really liked him. So hopefully he will be able to relax, move easier and gait better.

      What happens if you bite off more than you can chew?  You can kind of have a do over if you are lucky.  The big, gas guzzling, expensive truck was more than we could afford.  Joe was able to trade it in for a cheaper, better gas mileage, little 2006 Mazda 3, which will be much more economic for us.  It has 125,000 miles on it but was mostly highway as it had been driven by a sales man.  We got a fair amount of cash back which was needed because we had over extended ourselves.  Sometimes we need to learn the hard way.  Before making the swap, Joe
                                                     made three trips into LeRoy to haul
home a free basket ball stand with backboard and rim (Sidenstick boys we are ready to shoot some hoop now.) and a bunch of wooden box units.  He can't pass up a good deal. 
Any future hauling we need to do, primarily wood chips for stall bedding, we will have to manage to move by using the trailer. 

     The un-bailed hay got drenched part of the night and Sunday morning.   I did not put the horses out in their pens because it was too wet and muddy.  I didn't want them slipping, or for Zorro to mess up his leg wrap.  On the way to early Church, Lisa called to see if I wanted to ride with her out at Moraine View.  I rarely pass up the chance to ride.  Joe help me get Amiga and Zorro out to their grazing pens









and then right around noon, Lisa and I  headed out to the park.  We had a nice ride together.  I rode her son's horse, Scout, a nice Tennessee Walker.  The woods were very wet so we mostly stuck to the meadows. 

     We had three major storms roll through Sunday night, one knocking out our electricity.  I slept until 7am since it had been a restless night and each time I looked at the dead clock I thought "how am I going to get a cup of hot tea?"  It didn't occur to me that I could use the gas stove...I always nuke my water.  The power did come back on and the sun did shine and it felt especially nice.  We had gotten an inch of rain over night....so the sun and breeze were needed to dry things out....like the hay. 

This also caused it to get fairly humid by mid day.  I went to Marj's to work with Roni and see how he was doing after his adjustment.   He seemed a little bit off or different and then Marj asked if he felt lame.  I didn't really notice...but when she got on, I could see that he was moving differently with his back left leg.  We worked him lightly and then decided to stall rest him for the day.  Joe and I met Dean and Linda at State Farm park for a picnic dinner, bible Q and A, and then a nice walk. 

      Today was another beautiful day...perfect for a trail ride with Marj.  We had a great time riding at her friend's 80 acre woodland wildlife sanctuary.  It was so fun... and just beautiful.  We saw several wild turkeys and 4 deer.  I ended up riding Vinni because Roni was still kind of lame. 

    Once home (3pm), I saw that Mark had hauled away 14 of his round bails, and re-raked the un-bailed hay.  Late afternoon I picked up sticks and worked at weeding.  Both jobs are endless.  Mark showed up and bailed the rest of the hay.  Courtney came over after dinner and we chatted while grooming our horses.  We were going to walk them together, but Zorro would barely step on his sore back left leg. ???  So he stayed in his stall.  There are always so many questions.  If only we knew before what we know now, we wouldn't have to ask for "Do Overs".