Villhauer's Farm Blessings: Anticipation

"...don't think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It's quiet, but the roots are down there riotous." -- Rumi

Photo by Heather McCloskey Beck

I know, beneath the snow, my perennials are ready to burst forth with spring beauty. I am full of hope and pleasurable expectation with the anticipation of a repeat of our yearly display of color and life, here on the farm.

"Anticipation, it's keepin' me waitin'." as Carly Simon sings, "We can never know about the days to come. But we think about them anyway".

I think life can sometimes be too much anticipation. Merriam-Webster defines anticipation as visualization of a future event or state; the act of looking forward; hopefulness. But Elbert Hubbard cautions us, "If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble." Anticipation is an emotion involving excitement, enthusiasm, but sometimes, according to Wikipedia, "anxiety in considering some expected or longed-for good event." I think the same can also be true for an upcoming scary event that is dreaded and causes fear and great apprehension; like having wrist surgery, trying to load an unwilling horse on a trailer, or driving on ice covered roads. When I anticipate getting a cavity filled, it is never as horrific as I imagined. Maybe
how we anticipate the future is similar

to how we perceive life... half full or half empty. Some events, like the birth of a baby (whether human, pet, or livestock), can be both exciting and scary. How does our optimism or pessimism affect our anticipation?
I am sure our past experiences also influence our contemplation of future events that could be similar.

     The chicken on the back door mat can't possibly be anticipating coming in. That is not a concept to her because it has never occurred. But she may be hoping for bread crumbs, an event that has happened before.

     Saturday was windy and it spit rain off and on all day, but it did reach a high of 50 degrees. Spring was in the air and on the wing... with birds flocking, some headed to northern breeding grounds and others just arriving here. I was glad to see much of the snow and ice melt and finally get the north barn doors opened. Joe and I went to the Replex and I did my usual exercise routine of walking, lifting weights and stretching. Joe let me borrow his I-Pod to listen to music and that really made the time go fast and kept my energy up-beat.

Joe and I went to a late matinee, seeing the movie "Safe Haven," which definitely used anticipation as part of the scary, fear producing suspense in this thriller/love story. After the movie, we went for a beer at the bowling alley bar "Mustang Sally's." Once home, Joe moved the clocks ahead an hour and I decided it was time for bed.

It was again cloudy and gloomy all day Sunday, making it hard to get motivated to "get up and go," from the very start of the day. Before Church and grocery shopping, I worked in the nursery, which was quite empty. The time change and rain were just not baby friendly. As I had first approached
our Church, I saw this... hundreds of

flags lining the roads and parking lot. They were there, for a fireman's funeral, who had been killed while on duty. We never anticipate a life being snatched away at such a young age.

Hundreds of firefighters, from all over the state, came to our Church the following day, for the funeral.

Mike Baker talked about the up-coming funeral and tied in this tragic death with his sermon... "Carry Me Home." Are we (and our loved ones) prepared to die? I feel as Billy Graham does when he said, "I look forward to death with great anticipation, to meeting God face to face." As Christians, it is also comforting to know that someday we'll be able to look back and have a little more clarity on why certain things in life happened.

Surprise Lilies (with natural intuition) are starting to poke through the ground. The Day Lilies aren't far behind. Sunday's wind was not too bad, and it did get up to 50 degrees again, but there was a drizzle or light rain almost continually. With 1.4 inches of rain the last 48 hours, the water collected on the lower end of the drive and in the waterway because it had no where to go.

The past several evenings, Kaysha has spotted an opossum coming out from under our deck. She is always in great anticipation of going out after the little fellow, but I won't let her. I don't want any blood shed.

Spring can be equated to mud season here on the farm. It is only with the anticipation of it warming up, drying up and greening up; that I can make it through all these days of muck.

I am sure the cows and horses are sick of it too, as they now hesitate coming out of the barn and corn crib.

I was twenty minutes late for Water Lilies Monday, so to compensate, swam laps afterwards. I also did my usual exercise routine. The weather continued to be cloudy and rainy. The winds picked up and the temperature dropped. It was so crummy, I had to close the north barn doors for the night.

I had set the live trap, anticipating a
catch, so after dark, whenever the dog barked, I went out to checked it. I didn't want a barn cat or opossum sitting out in the cold, rain/sleet, and wind. But both times there was nothing. Finally, the third time I went out, this little guy had been captured. Joe and I went for a short drive in the country, releasing the opossum in a woodland area near Moraine View.

This was the view from the bathroom window Tuesday morning as I donned my old swim suit. The sunshine was a welcomed relief from the past 3 days of clouds.

I did my usual exercise routine after my one hour Water Lilies class. Once home, I was content to stick to my office, puttering around at my desk and on the computer. The sun drew me out for a short walk around the place, but the mid 30's temperature with the wind, convinced me that horsing around outside with my equine would just not be much fun. The
ground and round pen were still too

soggy to work in or ride on. This Sedum, poking through last years dead growth, does promise of warmer days to come. So, with great anticipation, I continue to wait to start back in with training Amiga and Roni, and look forward to Courtney being able to join me while she rides Zorro.

I went out to the barn with Joe to help out while he cleaned stalls. And just when I had my hopes up for a brighter (warmer) tomorrow.... it started snowing!

It has been very nice of Joe to help me with the stalls. Pushing the heavy wheel barrow through this mud would be too much stress on my wrist still. However, I am anticipating a wrist that will soon be stronger, more flexible, and have less chronic pain than before.

Just as quickly as the snow had blown in, it stopped. The sun peaked through an opening in the clouds, but then more storm clouds blew in...

and we had another down pour of snow... actually it's called a snowburst.

Each night the horses wait near the barn in anticipation of coming in for their feed and nights rest. Tuesday night they were really anxious because it was blowing up a storm and snowing off and on. Amiga usually comes to the stall gate first, but then Zorro pushed past her to let me know, now was the time to open the gate and let them in.

Wednesday's sunrise was obscured by clouds that soon blew through, allowing the sun to melt off the dusting of snow. My morning workout consisted of an hour of Jammin' w/ Julee

before my regular exercise routine.

I took this photo of Roni eating his morning hay to show the clumps of mud stuck in his mane. The chunk on his forelock keeps swinging in his eyes. I have tried to break and remove it with my fingers and brush, but with no luck. I need to get my pliers out again.

     The frozen ground was thawing and also drying out some. Babe and Stew like to do a little sparring.

     Marj needed a ride to town, so I went to the fabric shop to get a zipper (for a second coat) after dropping her off. Once home, I decided to run the tractor around the paddock to flatten the terrain which had become very difficult to walk on, especially when it was frozen. I am always concerned about the horses injuring their legs.

                    Before                                         After

Stew was interested in what I was doing, and also may have anticipated going out on the back pasture. We have kept the cows and horses separated, so the cows remain on their half of the paddock, getting all the hay they can eat. Once the grass starts growing, the horses will be limited to their time on pasture and the cows will get to graze.

     On Wednesday evening, our TV time was enjoyable. Just when I thought Survivor was becoming mundane and a bit boring, something unanticipated happened. Brandon Hantz made history, being unanimously voted off the island, on the spot, just before the immunity challenge.
I thought it was a crazy and nerve racking episode. I then had to read in bed for awhile before I was relaxed enough to sleep.

     Thursday's Water Lily class turned out to be
a bit awkward for me. If I had anticipated the mishap, I probably would not have attended. Some unexpected events in life are best left up to surprise. What happened was, I had a wardrobe malfunction and came busting out of my suit (well, with my figure I can't really say that). Anyway, I was wearing an old suit that has slowly deteriorated from all its hours in the pool, and was going to be pitched once the elasticity no longer allowed it to fit properly. Well, shortly into our exercises, one of the ladies ask if my suit was on correctly. I looked down to where her eyes were fixed and saw a rip in the fabric under my arm, with a bit of a gaping hole. With much laughter by all, myself included, I tucked the extra fabric of my suit under my strap and continued. But, exercising this way was greatly limited, and each time the fabric came un-tucked, the rip got a little worse. The laughter and my embarrassment increased as did the rip... and I soon politely
                                                      excused myself from the exercise

session. Thank goodness I had a towel at poolside. By the time I got to the shower room, the rip went from my armpit, to my hip. Yikes!

The flock coming out from hiding under the bushes. The cry of a hawk, just before I took this photo, sent a few hens retreating and caused Hercules to look up and about. Notice the grass is starting to appear greener in spots?

The Friday morning chill of dawn was waiting to depart as the sun rose.

The day was warming, so I opened up the north barn doors as far as they would slide.

I went to Water Lilies wearing a newer suit, and then only walked one mile for a total of 12 miles this week.

Right after lunch I went out into the 50 degree day with the intent to ride Roni. I have been anticipating this first ride since December, for quite some time now. Well, I was immediately distracted by this cute young cat, no more than 6 months old, that was meowing. In this photo it is hiding under one of the mangers. I lured it out with food, but it would not let me touch it, and would run back into hiding if I tried. Spring always seems to bring creatures out of the woodwork. Now what to do with this one... I guess catch it first.

I finally turned my attention to Roni. He needed lots of brushing. Once tacked up I worked him in the round pen and then went for a ride. He did great for me today. I never anticipated it would go this well after three months off. We even went a short ways down Brian's road. I kept it low key and didn't push him. We are both out of shape.

Joe and I went into town for an investment meeting with a financial advisor. We are still just gathering information and looking at options. "Successful investing is anticipating the anticipations of others," John Maynard Keynes. After our meeting we shopped for groceries and then went to dinner at a sandwich place.

I visualize the photo above when I imagine what Joe anticipates when he drives off for his usual poker game.

Britney has been anxiously waiting, in great anticipation, to find out whether or not she has landed a job with LASP (Latin American Studies Program) to work in Costa Rica. They keep telling her they need more time to make the decision.

You know the familiar saying; "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, that's why they call it the present." I think many people tend to live in the future (or sometimes in the past) and they fail to realize the opportunities available to them in the present. I catch myself doing this all too often. I think it is healthy to have dreams and anticipations, it can help get us through rough or down times, give us something to look forward to, but we also need to seize the day. Do not spend too much time looking ahead or backwards, but realize that right now is one of the best times of our life. Don't dream your life away... enjoy today for what it is. This may involve singing and dancing in the rain and mud... or snow... or sleet... so just Do It!