Perfectly Flawed

     Being a perfectionist has flawed me with being too critical, unsatisfied, and picky.  However, knowing there is a problem is the first step to fixing the problem.  So, I have tried to mellow out, back off, and give in to things that drive me crazy or that I think need to be changed or fixed.
     We live in an imperfect world, not because it was created that way, but because we (man) have messed it up.  Most of us will probably agree that our world has problems and we should all strive to make it a better place.  The issue, is that we just can't seem to come to a consensus on how to do this.  Part of the dilemma is that some people are too selfish or could care less.  But we also have different values, beliefs, and knowledge. 

     As a teacher of science, a lover of nature and a believer in Christ, I have, in the past, had an inner conflict with what I thought were two opposing ideas.  I was confused by the battle with what I know and what I believe and I struggled in finding the truth, scientific truth and spiritual truth.  
A similar battle is alive and fierce in the world today.

     I think religion and science can be harmonious.  It is a flaw for religion to ignore what science has enabled us to understand about our world.  It is also equally erroneous for us to think everything has a scientific explanation.  Spiritual questions lie outside the reach of the scientific method.  If God exists, then He must be outside the natural world, and therefore the tools of science are not the right ones to learn about Him.  Science can neither prove or disprove the existence of God. The ultimate decision about God is based on faith, not proof.  The more science learns, the more we realize how miraculous our world is.   Albert Einstein said "Science without religion is lame,  religion without science is blind."

     This week I finished reading "The Language Of God" by Francis Collins, who headed the Human Genome Project.  In his conclusion he wrote, "It is time to call a truce in the escalating war between science and spirit.  This war was never really necessary.  Like so many earthly wars, this one has been initiated and intensified by extremists on both sides, sounding alarms that predict imminent ruin unless the other side is vanquished.  Science is not threatened by God; it is enhanced.  God is most certainly not threatened by science; He made it possible".

  Saturday's clear skies at sunrise brought promise to the day.

     Brother was out following me around as the horses played musical hay... moving between each  of the three piles, while




Missy watched from a warm and safe spot on her shelf in the tack room.




     The sunny day was only slightly flawed by the cold and breeze and it never got over 26 degrees. 



     Mid-morning Joe and I went out and moved over 40 bales of hay, putting some in the corn crib, some in the lower level of the barn and half of it into our neighbors pick up truck.  Our Church is doing a series on love, and challenged the congregation to show ridiculous love to someone this week.  So we chose our neighbors and showed them love by sending them a card earlier, and then giving them some hay.  They were so appreciative, and the hug the neighbor lady
                                                       gave me was priceless.

     I actually took a nap in the afternoon, which is not something I usually do.  Joe grilled steaks for dinner and then we went to Normal and later Hayworth, to listen and dance to two different bands.  The horses weren't put in the barn until midnight... a late night for all of us.

     On sunny Sunday, Joe and I went to Courtney's for water, Wal-Mart and then late Church, not getting home until after 1 pm.  An hour later we left for the Replex.  I walked 2 miles and did some arm weights.  Then we went
to the movie, "The Guilt Trip" with Barbara Streisand.  It was still light at 5 pm when we got home.  I did an extra good job cleaning stalls, moved some hay around, moved the horses to the back pasture, changed some paddock fencing to keep them and the cows separate and filled all the food bins with feed knowing I wouldn't be able to do that job for a week or more.

     I woke at 4 am Monday, not feeling very rested.  I have recently been too apprehensive to sleep well.  I was not to eat or drink, so messed around here until 5 am and then went out to do all of the day's chores so Joe would
                                                      have it easy in the evening.  During
my shower,  I scrubbed with anti- bacterial soap as instructed, and left for the surgery center at 8:30.  Surgery went well.  The hardware has been removed.  It served it's purpose but has since been a flaw to my wrist function.  As Courtney so eloquently put it, "Good riddance to bad rubbish!"  The Dr. said he would remove any scar tissue and calcification that might also interfere with motion, while moving my wrist as he worked.  Joe left work before noon to bring me home, leaving my car at the Surgery center to be picked up later.  He even stopped to get me a milkshake on the way home.  I kept my hand elevated and on ice as much as possible for the next 48 hours.  I was quite groggy the remainder of Monday, taking a nice long nap when I got home. 
My wrist is sore, but nothing like the surgery
over a year ago when they put all this stuff in  to hold the completely broken radius in place. Here is a close up of the titanium plate and screws next to a dime for a size comparison.

     After my nap I was quite hungry, snacking until dinner time and then eating too much pizza.  I may have hit the food intake a bit too fast and furious, because I ended up with a tummy ache.  After dinner I took a Tylenol for pain, more for my head than my wrist and sat and watched TV with Joe for three hours.

     I was wide awake before 4 am Tuesday, so got up, realizing I could take a nap later.  I went out to feed the horses and barn cats at 5 am, knowing they would be hungry since Joe fed them early the night before.  I left them in the barn for Joe to let out later though.

     The day didn't amount to much... I mainly rested... reading, blogging, and hanging out on Facebook.  In this photo, Abbey and I are watching a video of a kitten and cat wrestling, kind of like her and Charlie when he visits.  She was intent on watching and would turn her head as she followed the action.  So cute. 

     I took a long nap after lunch but woke up feeling sick, queasy, dizzy, light headed, and my stomach ached.  I wasn't sure if I was coming down with something or having a reaction to the anti-inflammatory medicine.  Still not feeling great, I left for B/N with Joe.  We went shoe shopping, each getting a new pair of walking shoes.  We grabbed a quick dinner at the golden arches and then went to the retirement planning class at Lincoln College. 
                                                      We picked up my car from the surgery
center on the way home, arriving here to find Charlie who Dan had dropped off.  Above, Tiny and one of the hens looking through the hay.  To the left, this is so Charlie.

     I woke up feeling better Wednesday morning so took more of my medicine.  I did the feeding chores in 7 degree temperatures at sunrise.  I couldn't get a glove over my bandaging, so kept my hand in my coat sleeve, making it awkward to use, and my fingers got cold.
 
     Abbey and Charlie hanging out on my desk... Abbey bird watching and Charlie playing with the string of the venetian blind.



Charlie decides Abbey would be more fun to play with.


Abbey puts the smack down...






But Charlie is un-phased.

     Mid morning I walked 2 miles in my new shoes at the Replex and then picked up my coat with the new zipper.  I was only charged $8.00 but gave her a ten because it was such a great deal.  I was so happy to have a good, winter work coat once again.

     By the time I got home, I was feeling sick again, so called the Dr. office and was given the go ahead to throw the rest of my medicine away.   I was also starting to feel "trapped" by the temporary immobilizing brace on my arm, and was getting anxious to be able to bend and move my wrist once again.  I stuck it in a plastic bag, Joe taped it tight around my forearm, and I took a wonderful, rejuvenating shower.  Still feeling light headed and dizzy, but refreshed.

     If Charlie isn't bothering Abbey or I, he is messing with Kaysha.  He likes to play with her tail and steal her toys.







     I had a 9:30 appointment with the surgeon Thursday.  The tech guy cut off the bandaging, re-did my butterfly strips over the sutures (not staples this time), and X-rayed my wrist.  I moved my wrist while waiting for the Dr. in the exam room and was delighted by being able to bend and turn it without pain, although it was sore.  When talking with the Dr., he said I need to be very careful with the wrist until the bone heals.  Each of the screw holes is a flaw, a weak spot in the bone.  So I have been restricted to not lifting anything over a pound without the arm brace on, and no heavy lifting until after another x-ray in 4 more weeks.
The Dr. wasn't too keen about me
riding, the longer I wait the better.  And I am to wear my brace anytime I might fall or strain my wrist.  I am not allowed to swim for 10 more days, but can at least shower if I dry the incision area with alcohol afterwards.  I am not thrilled with the temporary restrictions, but have no regrets about having the hardware removed because I can tell already, how much better my wrist is going to feel and be. 

     When Joe and I went to workout, I did the first 30 minutes of the aerobics class until they started on weights.  Then I walked a mile on the indoor track.  The snow started falling while we were inside.  We stopped to pick up a few movies on the way home. 



     I went straight to the barn to bring the horses in.  They were covered in snow.  It was snowing in Amiga and Zorro's stalls and in the aisle way between them.  When there is a strong wind out of the east, it will force the snow through the ventilating gap between the two sections of roof, as you can kind of see in this photo.  I brushed the snow off the horses as they ate, hoping they would be dry and warm for the night. 

     It snowed steadily all evening, but by the end of the movie we had watched, it had turned to sleet.

     Things did calm down overnight and by Friday morning, we only had 1 inch of ice on top of 2 inches of snow, as well as some drifting. 

    The horses were dry and warm even though parts of the barn had quite a bit of snow inside.  Notice how much snow is in the aisle-way next to Zorro's stall.






     I took lots of snow photo's during morning chores and while walking around before coming inside for breakfast.

     Above the cows are eating their grain.  To the right the horses have been let out of the barn.  Zorro is eating some of the cow's hay which has blown or been pushed through the Electro Braid fence.




     Brother has again been missing
(for two days now), and I hoped he had found shelter in the storm.  Once more, Missy seems to be looking for him.



     There was no wind and it was in the upper 20's, so the chickens where game to come out of the coop.  Hercules and Tiny look it over first.




Tiny standing tall and pretty.  She is on the lookout for Missy who has followed me to the coop.






Missy heads back to the barn, walking in my foot steps, while Tiny follows her.



          Turkey on ice.





As I head for the house, I look back at the coop and notice more of the girls have come out to join Hercules.



     The snow covering is beautiful
     on the different plants.











     You can see in the above photo, that there was no wind.  I was trying to also show the ice covered branches but without much luck.  It would have been gorgeous if the sun came out.





    Our cute little farm house.  I still want to get shutters on Britney's bedroom window.  Don't look too closely or you will also see the mold on the north side of the house.


     Joe drove the Expedition in order  to get through the snow drifts and down our drive so he could make it in to work.





     Mid morning the wind picked up and the ice on the tree branches started falling to the ground.  It was pretty noisy for 2 or 3 hours as the ice pelted the roof, siding and windows.


     Much of the day, I just sat here at my computer working on this blog.  Charlie kept me company, napping part of the time.  I also watched TV and ventured outside to check on and feed livestock.  Joe went to play cards again and I am headed in to watch TV till bed time.


     We live in a flawed and broken world.  Humanity can't seem to agree on anything.  We argue, fight, and disagree about the truth or distort facts with our own agenda in mind.  There really shouldn't be a conflict between scientific truth and spiritual truth.  Truth is truth.  Truth cannot disprove truth.  Wisdom is the means by which we arrive at the truth.  James 3:17&18 " But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."  I pray our hurting and fighting world would find this kind of wisdom and come together in love, understanding, compassion and peace.

Bushel And A Peck

     Give your loved ones a peck on the cheek... and a hug around the neck.

"I love you, a bushel and a peck,

a bushel and a peck and 

a hug around the neck"

     So, how much love is a bushel and a peck?  A bushel equals 8 dry gallons and a peck equals 1/4 of a bushel or 2 dry gallons... so, a bushel and a peck is 10 dry gallons.
    
    Can love actually be measured?  No.  The task of measuring love can be compared to measuring the Universe.  And, love cannot be possessed, it comes through your heart.  God tells us how to love Him and others. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” and “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mat. 22:37, 39)  God is love and He gives us an example of love.  Love is demonstrated in self-sacrifice.  Love is not just giving, but giving up something.  Thus the measure of our love is not measured by how much we give to someone else, but how much we give up for them.

     The photo below is of the "back" of our farm, from the south side of the railroad tracks.  It is what you would see when looking north while driving down I-74.  It is where I started my search for Brother.
 

     It was a slow, lazy morning Saturday, so I did not make it to the 7 or
8 am exercise class.  Joe and I went in before noon and I walked 2 miles while he worked out. He showed me how to do a few of the weight machines, so I worked on arm muscles while he showered.

     Joe cleaned stalls for me, so it didn't take me long to get hay and water situated.  Then Kaysha and I went for a walk along the railroad tracks, looking for signs of Brother.  Our closest neighbors had not seen him.
     We went along the fields part of  the time.  Kaysha did flush out two rabbits, but no signs of a cat.  I did see a trail (path) of coyote or small dog foot prints in a muddy section at the edge of one of Becks fields. 

     Abbey has been sickly... throws up more than usual, appears to be losing weight, seems to be cold all the time and her eyes are kind of
                                                     sunken.  She spends a lot of time just
sleeping here on this chair in the family room.  Joe and I watched the two hour premiere of this season's show "Touched," while keeping Abbey company.

     I left the horses out all night knowing it would be windy and rainy Sunday and I would probably keep them in all day.  Kaysha woke me up at 4 am due to the onset of hard rain, so I went out and let the horses in.  And low and behold, there was Brother, out in the barn!  I gave him a big ole hug and a peck... so glad to see him again.  He joined Missy for breakfast. 
Now, to figure out how to keep him
hanging around here, and not wandering off.  He  has been neutered, so I don't think he has a "girl friend."  This is the third time, since Christmas, he has been gone for almost a week. 

     I fed the barn yard animals just before heading to Church to work in the nursery.  It was rainy, windy and cold.  Joe met me for Church.  Back home, we pretty much stayed put in the house because it rained (sideways in the wind) most of the day.  I decided that Abbey probably had an abscessed tooth.  She kept drooling all the time, acted like she had hair on her tongue, and her breath was rancid.  The rain stopped late afternoon so I put the horses out for awhile so I could clean stalls.  Needless to say, they came in (after dark) quite muddy.

     The wind blew fast and furious all night.  It actually helped dry up the standing rain water by Monday morning.  This bird bath and feeder were not really intended for the poultry.  But, the sparrows are always in the chicken coop eating and drinking what is out there... so I guess all is fair.







     Hercules and some of the girls... they do pick up the seed off the ground, which helps with weed control.

     I had Abbey at the LeRoy Vet before they opened and was the first one through the door when it unlocked at 8 am Monday.  There were 5 surgeries scheduled and the Dr. would not be in until 10 am, so I left her there.  I went to the Replex and did an exercise class and then walked, since I was too late for Water Lilies. 

     The sun came out by noon and it was a pretty day, except there was a wind advisory all day.  The barn cats were content to stay out of the wind and in the sun here on their shelves in the tack room.

     I got a call after lunch, that Abbey did have a bad tooth which they pulled.  The gum around it was infected so they put her on antibiotics.  She needed to stay the night because she was slow to wake up and they had her on pain medication.

     I had a little scare when leaving the barn after cleaning stalls.  I saw this (photo to the right) and thought maybe I had a sick horse. 



     As I approached, I realized it was Zorro.  I have never seen he and Roni resting together.
    

    I still wasn't sure if he was okay,   so continued to walk closer toward
the two of them.

     That was enough pressure to cause Zorro to stand up.  Roni quickly got up too.  I felt bad I had disturbed their nap but glad they were okay.

     We didn't have Growth Group because Dean was sick, but we went to the Hott's for pie because they had baked two for our meeting and needed help eating them.  We are always glad to help others out. Ha ha ha.

     Brother followed me as usual, during Tuesday morning chores.  I had taken hay to Roni, and Brother jumped in the box.  He likes to hide in the hay and then he popped out when Roni stuck his nose in for a bite to eat.  This was Joe's first day to work from home.  State Farm has gotten so crowded, that they have started doing this to free up some office space.  Joe will be working remote every Tue-Thur.  I made him a pot of coffee and we figured out how best to situate him and his work computer (in the office) and he tested the new speaker phone-like device they provided for him.  I instructed him to tell me when the thing is on and would hear me if I talked.  

     I did not hang around long, in the office with Joe.  I had to go to Bloomington for a doctor appointment, so went in early to do my weekly grocery shopping.  Then I met with my wrist surgeon.  He said my lack of movement, pain, weakness, and other problems are the result of a
                                                      hardware issue.  So, is this what
people are talking about when they say I have a lose screw?  :-/  The Dr. manipulated my wrist and you could hear and I could feel it popping. I hadn't even realized it did that. LOL  Anyway... I am having surgery Monday to have the plate and 7 screws removed.  This x-ray was taken after surgery over 15 months ago.  You can see the plate and screws that will be removed.  The metal staples you also see are long gone, but I imagine I will have more of those again.  The Dr. said recovery will not be near as bad or take as long as the first time, and I should have a better functioning wrist.  I hope he is right.  I stopped on the way home and walked for 30 minutes on Constitution trail.  It was a nice change in scenery.  Too bad Kaysha wasn't with me.  Next I went to Marj's to drop off a bag of horse feed to pay her back for one I had borrowed.  I continued
on into LeRoy to pick up Abbey.  She was full of piss and vinegar... growling and hissing.  The vet tech said she was feeling much better, to be so sassy.  She was glad to get home and rest in her box.  After a late lunch and some e-mail/Facebook time, I went out to clean stalls.  I did an extra good job and attended to some other chores that needed doing since it was so nice out.  By the time I came in, I realized I was going to be late for my 4:00 aerobics class.  So off I rushed.  After the second class, I walked to cool down and then stretched.  I was humming Zumba tunes coming home. Then I had to give Abbey her antibiotics (squirt in the mouth).  It didn't go too bad, all things considered.

     Wednesday it really felt like spring during 6 am chores, even though there was frost on the ground.  There was no wind, the air felt kind of warm, and the birds were singing.  I even noticed the swallows were back.  I did my usual Water Lilies and 2 mile walk on the track and added an arm workout on the weight machine.  Joe wasn't home when I got back, apparently he had to go in for a meeting at work.  When he did get home, he sat near by, working again.  But I kept catching myself talking to him.  We may have to put up a wall-like cubicle divider so I don't keep disturbing him.  LOL  Maybe he should tell me the speaker phone is on so I will be quiet. :-)

     The rest of my day was not very productive.  I must have used all my energy during the two hours of morning exercise.  Joe had cleaned stalls and the chicken coop so I cleaned water buckets, moved hay, and cleaned up around the barn.  Then I went for a walk out in the pasture. 


     The ever curious Zorro (seen above and left) is always the first to come see what I am up to.








Amiga just keeps eating.


Roni will keep a watchful eye on me.











Once Zorro gets bored and Roni senses all is safe, they will both start eating along with Amiga.



     Joe and I watched the 90 minute season opener of Survivor.  It is Fans vs Favorites again.  I thought some of the Favorites were more like the Worst... they tended to shake things up at camp and were annoying.  I guess viewers find that more entertaining.
   


     I have been bringing the horses in right before I go to bed.  As usual, Brother came to help with hay distribution.  While I was in brushing Roni, Brother popped up into the manger.












     This happens all the time, and Roni usually waits until Brother gets out of the way.  I called Brother over to me and it was busines as usual for Roni.  I love these two boys.


     It was a Happy Valentine's Thursday.
Shortly after breakfast, Kaysha and I went into town to walk on Constitution Trail.  I had to go in to shop for a few items, so wanted to make it worth the trip. 






     The dog really enjoyed the walk, the new scenery, squirrel and duck watching, and a drink in the creek.




     We walked three miles.






     Below is a photo of mostly male Malards that were haninging out in and along the banks of the creek.  They had been here earlier in the week when I walked this same section of trail.


     Kaysha rested in the back of my car while I was off buying a zipper, carpet, and cat food... which required three different stores.  I also ended up buying brownie mix (rather than a card for the same price) so baked that after lunch.  I added Reeses pieces in the shape of a heart and that was my "card" to Joe, which he shared.

     Joe drove to LeRoy just as I was finishing chores.  We have been going separate because I have been doing two workout classes, walking and weights, which takes over 2 hours, way more time than Joe needs.

     I cut the indoor/outdoor carpet in half and we got it placed in the office so Joe can roll around better as he is moving between computers.

     After bringing the horses in at 9 pm and giving them their feed and hay, I had another big horse scare... more legitimate than earlier this week.  Amiga choked on her hay.  While petting and talking to Roni, I heard her coughing, and went to see what was going on.  I could tell right away she was in distress.  I have seen her choke before, shortly after first getting her.  That time she laid down in her stall.  When she had plopped onto the floor, it was enough to force air out of her lungs and dislodge the obstruction.  This time it looked like she wanted to lie down, but she kept circling the stall.  I opened the stall gate, but at the same moment she partially hacked up slimy hay and saliva.  She was still stretching her neck and moving her jaws, so I massaged her lower neck.  Eventually she coughed some more and started chewing and looked less stressed.  She went back to eating her hay, so I decided she was okay.  Phew.

     Friday was my usual morning Water Lilies, walking and weights.  While in town, I dropped a coat off at a lady's house to have the zipper put in.
                                                     I worked on this blog, did afternoon
chores, cleaned around the house and then settled in for the evening to watch some of Larry Whitesell's horse training DVDs I had borrowed from Courtney. Joe was off playing cards.

     Hope you had a good week and a great Valentine's Day, not measured by what you got, but by what you gave up for others.